Other than picky grammar corrections, great work.
It was pretty good. I was distracted by the various grammatical errors though. Semicolons are only to be used when there are fully developed, complete sentences on both sides. For example:
Maybe I'm just a post for the other guests to lean upon; somebody to prop up the roof should they bring it down upon themselves.
This is incorrect. The second is not a complete sentence. There is no verb for the subject. Also, Colons (:) are only used to begin a list or to define whatever is before the colon. for example "There was only one thing I wanted: to be like everyone else" is correct, for the second defines the "thing" that is wanted. However...
... in the grandest hall of the city: there are checkerboard floors...
is incorrect. And following this--
there are checkerboard floors as far as the eye can bother; open buffets for the loose belted ; a beautiful chandelier...
-- the first is a complete sentence, but the following fragments are incorrect uses of semicolons.
As for positive things, your vocabulary is remarkable and I loved the tone. Look into some of the more technical grammatical rules (just for class and readability purposes) and keep up the great work.
The "turd of the week" title kind of speaks for itself, so I'm going to say something positive.
Although I couldn't hear the audio, the lip synching looked decent. Like you actually thought about it. So... keep up the good work. You can always go on my page and look at my first animation... It's awful.
don't animate until you can learn grammar. "I wish you where ran over"? Where or were? Ran over? It's okay to be bad at grammar but if you can't type the English language, perhaps it's a good idea not to add speech bubbles. And fix the walking. And the plot. And the voice acting.
Positive of the day: Nice backgrounds.
I'm a huge fan of this. Sounds like something that would be in a real movie. Would it be alright if I credited you and used this in a video? So lovely. Keep up the good work
Hey, thanks for checking it out. Aslong as you credit me, that's absolutely fine! Also I'd love to see it, so drop me a link!
Great job, very good
this is incredible. I love it. Would it be alright if I used this in a video, and credit you at the end? I'll add you as an audio provider as well. let me know :)
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